


Steadfast

by autisticaizawashouta



Series: Gender is Hard 'verse [12]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Disabled Character, Everyone is Queer, Gen, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Patton will love and support his best friend, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, non-binary characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 01:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticaizawashouta/pseuds/autisticaizawashouta
Summary: Virgil is recovering from a serious bout of meningitis, and Patton very carefully pokes at a sore point in their past.





	Steadfast

**Author's Note:**

> this is the Gender is Hard 'verse, pronouns are as such: Patton, he/him, Virgil, they/them, Roman, he/him, Logan, xe/xir

Virgil stirred, the world slowly coming into focus as they opened their eyes and blinked the overnight fogginess from their vision. Exhaustion still lurked deep in their bones, both from the illness and the subsequent hospital stay. Once they had woken up in the hospital, they hadn’t been able to sleep soundly- they’d managed a little here and there with Caoimhe and Patton’s help, but with all the business of the environment, it hadn’t been refreshing at all.

Outside the room, the sun had come up and light filtered through the closed curtains, leaving Virgil in dusky darkness. They yawned and stretched, feeling their back cracking and their muscles slowly lose their stiffness. Patton was probably in the kitchen, maybe experimenting with another recipe or just moving around.

Caoimhe perked up from her spot on the bed near Virgil’s feet. She had been glued to their hip more than normal, not that they minded. Her presence was a welcome comfort.

They swung their legs out from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. Caoimhe wiggled over and they scritched her head before standing up.

Before, they would’ve been able to hear Patton moving around in the kitchen. They would’ve been able to hear him singing, humming, maybe in a call with one or more of his friends.

That was before the illness, before they lost most of their hearing.

They weren’t Deaf. They still had some of their hearing, but everything was muffled, duller than it used to be. It would take some adjusting to learn how to live with.

Caoimhe followed as they stood up and left the bedroom. Virgil’s guess had been wrong- Patton was sitting on the couch looking at his phone. He looked up as Virgil and Caoimhe came into the room and smiled at them, his face lighting up.

“Morning, Virge!” he said, standing up and tossing his phone on the couch cushion. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like the dead,” they replied, accepting Patton’s hug and leaning into his hold. “You?”

“Like a log!” he said.

Their morning hug lasted longer than they usually did, not that either of them cared. They both needed it.

“So, what are today’s plans?” Patton asked, moving back to the couch, and Virgil shrugged.

“I honestly don’t know,” they replied. “There’s a chance some writing might be involved.”

“Just a chance?” Patton asked, a knowing smile on his lips. Virgil rolled their eyes.

“Yeah, just a small one,” they said, sarcasm coloring their tone.

Patton thought for a moment. “Well, Teagan and Toni have given us open invitations to eat with them. Maybe we could take them up on that tonight? Unless you don’t think you’re recovered enough for it!”

Virgil huffed out a small laugh. “I wouldn’t be very good conversation if I was too tired to talk.”

“Well, maybe some other time,” Patton said, shrugging. Virgil felt a small trill of relief.

They’d known Patton for years, had been living with him for years, and sometimes it still surprised them how good he was at respecting their boundaries, at understanding their needs. They could admit it- they had felt the anxiety forming deep in their stomach at the thought of going out and eating at someone else’s house. It was always bad the first few times.

Eventually, both of them ended up on the couch with Caoimhe crammed in between them, insistently cuddling with both of them. Patton ended up dozing off on the couch right there, and Virgil took a stealthy picture to show him later.

It was in the middle of the afternoon when Roman messaged the group chat.

_**Theatre Gay** : BOY_

Virgil stared at the message for several long moments, trying to comprehend the message.

_**I lived, bitches:** excuse me, **what**_

_**Theatre Gay:** cute boy. He’s bi. Help me._

_**Glasses Gay Young:** Have you talked to him at all?_

_**Theatre Gay:** Yes!!! Yes I have! Except one problem_

_**Glasses Gay Old:** Well, what is it?_

_**Theatre Gay:** He’s Christine’s cousin!_

Virgil looked over at Patton, who shrugged and shook his head.

_**I lived, bitches:** okay catch us up here, who is christine_

_**Theatre Gay:** oh I forgot, you haven’t met Drama Mom. She’s great and, well, terrifying._

_**Glasses Gay Young:** She’s almost a whole foot taller than them. Is a foot taller, in her boots._

_**Glasses Gay Old:** I don’t see how that’s a problem as long as you’re nice to him_

_**Theatre Gay:** Cute boy! Terrifying, protective older cousin!_

_**Glasses Gay Young:** For the love of Sagan, just ask him out._

_**Theatre Gay:** ad;flkahdkl;gh no_

_**I lived, bitches:** big mood_

_**Glasses Gay Young:** Really? You too, now?_

_**I lives, bitches:** I am a proud member of the tide pod generation_

_**Glasses Gay Young:** But you’re both millenials._

_**I lived, bitches:** Nah, we’re in that grey area where we’re kinda both. Anyways, Roman, just like… ask him to get coffee or something. Or at least get his number._

_**Theatre Gay:** I have his number._

_**I lived, bitches:** Then ask him to get coffee._

_**Glasses Gay Old:** Yeah! What’s the worst that could happen?_

_**I lived, bitches:** ….do you really want me to answer that_

_**Theatre Gay:** NO_

_DO NOT_

_please do not_

_**I lived, bitches:** Relax. I’m not that evil._

_**Glasses Gay Old:** This is implying that you’re evil at all which is UNTRUE and I will fight you over this_

Virgil looked up from their phone and caught Patton’s gaze. They smiled, a small smile, and Patton nodded his head.

_**Glasses Gay Young:** Please do not fight_

_**I lived, bitches:** Relax, Lo. It’s like our own personal meme._

_**Theatre Gay:** You have your own memes?!!?!_

_**I lived, bitches:** Yeah they’re called inside jokes_

_**Theatre Gay:** adjklh_

_**I lived, bitches:** We’ve been living together for two years, Roman. Of course we have inside jokes. Anyway, tell us more about your boy with the scary cousin._

Apparently, Roman’s crush was named Calisto, which in Virgil’s opinion was a pretty good name and they should definitely steal it for a character.

It was later in the afternoon, enough to be considered early evening, when Patton started nudging Virgil’s foot with his foot to get their attention.

They looked up, one eyebrow raised. “I can still tell when you’re saying my name, you know,” they said, and Patton blushed.

“Oops?” he said, and they shrugged. “Anyways, I was wondering if I could ask you a question.”

“What kind of question?” they asked, tapping a staccato beat on the side of their phone with their fingers.

“Well, I was thinking, when my parents were here… I know your mother isn’t worth the title ‘mother’, but you always talked like your father was good. Have you ever thought about trying to get back into contact with him?” Patton asked. He was playing with one of Caoimhe’s ears, rubbing it between his fingers, and she leaned her head into his stomach.

Virgil looked away. “I don’t think he’d want to talk to me.” They looked back at Patton again, cutting him off before he could speak. “And that’s not just my self-hatred talking. I said terrible things to him, and his wife, and their kids, the things I’d never forgive someone for saying, things that, well.” They swallowed and looked at their hands. “Things I haven’t forgiven myself for saying. If I were them, I wouldn’t want to talk to me.”

Patton moved towards Virgil, taking one of their hands and wrapping it in his own.

“You’ve changed,” he said. “You’re a different, a _better_ person now.”

Virgil sighed. “I guess.”

Patton leaned in and tucked Virgil’s head into his neck, his fingers playing with their hair.

“Then I’ll just have to keep telling you that until you believe it.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey  
> hey do you see a plot happening  
> because i do  
> thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed it! if you did, please leave a kudos, and if you want, leave me a comment letting me know what you thought! i love to hear from and chat with my readers :)  
> there's also an ask blog, @gender-is-hard-asks  
> with love,  
> kestrel


End file.
